Love Duckie

1. I had an amazing time with Lisa and I really miss her being here. Usually I get sick of visitors after they’ve been here for a few hours but she could have stayed for a month for me! It won’t be too long before I see her again. I’m hopefully going to London around May-June and she’ll be coming again before she heads back to Canada.
2. I went running today for the first time in weeks! I went with Lisa last week but we only did a short run and even today’s run wasn’t that great. I only managed 3.4km but at least its something. I’m hoping to build back up to 5km a time by next week. I missed running and I felt great after today’s.
3. I’ve decided that Wednesday morning’s from now on - as long as money allows it - will be spent with a book in a coffee shop. Last Thursday with Lisa I had the most relaxing ever and it really made me realise how much I don’t relax. I’m always watching the clock to get back to where ever I have to be and those two hours every week will definitely be appreciated for the whole week. I’m heading to a local coffee  shop that I’ve been meaning to go to for months. I’ll let you know what its like!
4. I’ve started the 365 Days project again only this time its me taking photos of anything rather than self portraits. I’m already enjoying it a lot more than I ever did with the self portraits. Its hard to come up with different photos of yourself every day. I got bored very quickly. At least this time I have free rein of what I take photos of! If your interested, you can see the set over at Flickr.
5. The weather is wonderful! Its still cold but we’re hovering around 7°C right now and the sun is shining! My run this morning was so much more enjoyable with the sun shining and it not being so cold that my ears are getting frostbite.
6. I’m enjoying reading a lot more. I seem to be carrying my book around with me everywhere like I used to. I’m also keeping up with two books at a time. Its obvious that I can’t seem to stop myself getting books from the library so I’m reading a library book and one of my own books at the same time to I can get things read. I picked up the complete Dexter series from three different charity shops last week so I’ve started on that.
7. Lily Allen and Dizzee Rascal was good apart from the fact that I almost fell asleep when Lily Allen was on! I was so tired after the busy week I had that I just couldn’t stay awake much longer. Dizzee Rascal was amazing. His band are just as amazing. He is definitely worth seeing just for his band!
8. I’ve purchased all the equipment I need to start P90X now, I’m just waiting for them to arrive. I have wanted to do it for a long while now as I’ve seen it around on Spark People but its definitely Anna that’s inspired me to start. She’s doing so well. I’m hoping this program will give me the flat stomach I have been dying for for years. I don’t know when I’m going to start it yet and I’m also concerned that I won’t have the energy to run while I’m on it either. I need to read through the nutritional and fitness guides over this week to prepare myself.
9. I was really ill last night. I think I had food poisoning. I started feeling a little bit off when I went upstairs to put Meghan to bed and by the time we were reading a story, my stomach was in agony. I ended up vomiting a little and went to bed still in pain. I woke up his morning absolutely fine though so thankfully it wasn’t too serious.
10. I’m off to watch Shameless. I have been recording the series since it started but not managed to sit down to watch it yet. I think I have about six episodes to watch. I’m hoping to get through three of them tonight. It’ll be nice to clear the space on my Sky+ box too!

1. Lisa is currently here with me. I met her at the train station at 11AM this morning and we’ve spent the rest of the day chilling out. She’s really lovely and I’m glad she’s not leaving until Friday. Meghan loves her too.
2. I didn’t get to run this morning because I had a lot of cleaning to get done in preparation for my visitor but tomorrow I’m going we’re going running together. Its going to be nice to run along with someone, especially since I haven’t ran for such a long time. It’ll get me back into it again hopefully so I can run again at the weekend.
3. Tomorrow is also going to be a trip to Manchester! I’m really looking forward to it because I haven’t been for such a long time. There’s a vegan and vegetarian shop, Eighth Day that I have been wanting to go to since last time I went. Hopefully I’ll leave with a few healthy goodies! Obviously a trip to Afflecks Palace is on the cards too.
4. I think Daxter may have a problem with his hip or his leg. He couldn’t climb the stairs properly today and he’s winced when he’s been stroked there and also getting in and out of bed. I’m going to take him to the vet as soon as I can. It doesn’t seem to both him until he has to lift it up higher than usual as he was walking fine today when I took him out. I hope its nothing too serious.
5. I entered Meghan’s name into a raffle at pre-school to win a term of sports classes with the guy who teaches them sports at pre-school on Tuesday’s and she won! The classes are every Tuesday at 12.30PM so she went today. I’m so pleased she won. She’s there for free until Easter and then I’ll have to pay but Alex has already said that he’d pay for her after Easter so she can still go. She enjoyed it today but she was tired by the end as she didn’t get much sleep last night.
6. It looks like the weather may be improving. We’ve had lots of sunshine for the past two days and it looks like it will be staying that way for at least another few days. I’m so excited for summer. Hurry up!
7. With all the excitement of Lisa coming I forgot to mention yesterday that I’ve bought some new glasses - finally! I’ve had these frames for three years now and I finally found something cheap enough and something that I really, really love when I was in town yesterday. I’m going to pick them up on Thursday morning and I can’t wait!
8. I’m reading a lot more recently. Not an extreme amount but at least twenty pages a day which considering its been taking me forever to read everything, that’s pretty good. I’m hoping to have this book finished by this time next week so I can get through this big pile.
9. I’m going to see Lily Allen and Dizzee Rascal on Friday evening. Its come around so fast since the new year has come in. I’m going to get slightly dressed up since its a gig I can dance at rather than a sweaty, metal gig. I’ll probably just wear what I wore for mine and Alex’s anniversary. It should be a good night.
10. I’m off to watch Supersize verses Superskinny with Lisa now. I love this program even though I’ve seen it so much.

On Saturday there was a Fair Trade tea party in the town centre that I had seen advertised for a couple of weeks. My mum reminded me about it on Friday evening so Alex and I decided to go. We just had Meghan with us because Emelye was spending the night on Saturday instead of Friday last week and when we got to town we headed straight to Subway for lunch. I’m currently addicted to Subway yet again. Its a fast food that tastes good, is healthy and doesn’t make me want to throw up after it - unlike McDonalds which I can’t touch any more. We went to have a look at the Fair Trade thing and it was rubbish. Plus, there was the scariest rabbit thing there and I just wanted to get away from it ASAP. We ended up at the museum just for somewhere to go and it was pretty good. There’s an Urban Art exhibition on and they have a couple of Banksy pieces. I could have spent hours just looking but Meghan was getting bored and was just running around the place. She did however make the most of the dressing up box in the kids section of the museum and dressed up as a cowgirl. We also saw one of her friends from pre-school who ran up to her chatting away but I really had no idea what he was saying! He seemed excited about something and Alex said he was talking about the dinosaur in the next room but I’ll just take his word for it!

It was nice to just get out of the house because every weekend, we’re stuck in doing nothing all day. It made the weekend a lot better and I really enjoyed myself by being outside these four walls. I’m so glad its March and its getting warmer because I want to be outside more than I am right now. Currently, I’m avoiding outside - which shows since I haven’t ran for two weeks - because the cold is really getting to me and driving me mad. Today, March has come and its suddenly a nice day! Its still cold but the sun was lovely and warm when it appeared through the clouds. I’m waiting for the clocks to go forward at the end of the month and keeping my fingers crossed that the weather keeps improving. You never know in this country.

I have some extremely exciting news too! I’m meeting me friend Lisa tomorrow! And not only that, she’s staying with me until Friday morning! I’ve met online friend’s before but they’ve never stayed with me and I’m so, so excited! I really can’t wait and its so soon! We literally only planned it hours ago and I’m still on a high about it. I’m meeting her at the train station just after 11AM in the morning so I’d really bet get going to bed right now, especially since I need to clean, clean, clean - and walk the dog - before I leave for town.

This week is facts week since I don’t really have any real news to blog about!

1. When I lived at home from the ages of around 8-15, we had three dogs. All Labradors - two of them golden and one of them black. All three of them never made it past puppy hood before they were sent away for various reasons. Daxter is the only dog I’ve ever actually had and he’ll probably be the last for a long, long time. He drives me mad but I’m trying to enjoy him while I can.
2. My dream is to move to Australia and I will one day. I know Alex won’t go because he won’t leave Emelye which is understandable and neither would I really but if anything ever happened to him - God forbid - I wouldn’t hesitate to move over there. Even if its when I’m 70. The funny thing is, I’ve never even been.
3. I have always wanted to be an author but I don’t really see it happening. My brain doesn’t work like an authors should even though I keep trying. I’m settling with just studying English Literature at university in a few years and then either being an English teacher, a publisher or a librarian. I’ll see how I feel once I’m studying for my degree.
4. When I was 15, I lost my nana, a school friend and my uncle within five months. That pretty much started my depression.
5. I’ve travelled to Majorca, Spain, New York and Paris. I never full appreciated Paris when I went as I was only 11 and we were only there for Disneyland so I could love to go again to see everything I should have appreciated the first time.
6. Most people already know but when I was 6 I went to private school for half of a school year. I would give anything to send Meghan to the same school because it was fantastic and I have so many memories from that short time I was there - so many more memories than what I have from the rest of my school life. If I ever came into a significant amount of money, I’d send her straight there.
7. Ever since I have moved out of my parents house, I have struggled to keep the roof over my head. I’ve had no luck with jobs and have gotten myself into debt and I try and stay positive and be happy that I still have my health. All I want right now is to have Alex home, be financially stable and to be able to buy a cup of coffee without feeling guilty.
8. When I was younger I had a range of careers that I wanted to pursue - police officer, veterinarian, astronaut or a marine biologist. The first one I decided against when I realised I’d be first on the scene to murders and car accidents which I couldn’t deal with and the other three were stopped when my high school science teacher totally killed science for me with her awful lessons. Its a shame really. Marine biology would have taken me to Australia sooner!
9. I used to love winter and hate summer but I’m the total opposite now. I think a lot had to do with my weight problem since I was always too hot in the summer under all the layers I used to wear to cover myself up. Now I’m sick of being so cold all the time and cannot wait to wear shorts and tank tops this summer! It had better hurry up, this winter is so, so long this year.
10. I was considering cancelling my Sky subscription because to be honest, I don’t really need a TV any more. I record everything I watch or I watch it online because I never have the time to sit down and watch it when its actually on. The only person who would miss it is Meghan but from the money I saved, I could buy her a whole load of DVD’s to watch. I would save so much money a month if I was only paying for internet. It’s something I’m going to consider over the next few months.

Friday was mine and Alex’s five year anniversary and last night we went out celebrate the day. We were going to be going out for a meal but we just couldn’t decide where to go. We ended up ordering a Chinese in at 6PM before we went out and headed into town just after 7PM. We went into a bar on our own for a couple of drinks (I wanted cocktails and this one had my favourite and it was two for one) and left there after about half an hour to meet up with Alex’s friends in a bar around the corner.

We both had a great night and I found a new drink that I like - cherry beer! - but it got a bit rowdy and we were both getting quite tired so we left just after 11PM. It was a nicer celebration than last year where we made a huge night out of it by booking a hotel in Manchester and going out for a meal and we ended the night in tears after a huge argument. I think we set expectations way too high and last night was just a nice night out with no stresses on what we were going to do.

I also bought myself a close fitting dress and leggings for the night and even though I was still self concious about myself, I wore it and I felt pretty. Alex liked it too which is all that matters really. It’ll see me through the summer - if we ever get any! - and the leggings are perfect since they will go with anything.

As for the not drinking again; alcohol just doesn’t agree with me at all. Even now, at 11PM, my stomach feels so bloated and sore to touch and I woke up feeling quite sick. It wasn’t a hangover, my body just hates alcohol. It doesn’t matter if I drink one glass of wine or six, I still feel the same way. I probably will drink again. Its hard to avoid really since all my nights out with friends are at bars but I’ll definitely be limiting myself to one drink all night and will keep my limit low to try and avoid feeling too bad the following day!

I’d better get myself off to bed. Meghan’s back at pre-school tomorrow and I have to go food shopping on my own as soon as I’ve dropped her off. It’ll be a mad rush around town to get everything done in an hour and a half but its always nice to finally have some food in after the slow decline over the weekend.

1. I missed last week’s Ten Things and its also been eight days since I last blogged. My bad. I’ve had quite a few blog posts in my head recently but I’ve just not had the time to get them down. If I can still remember them, I’ll get them written this week sometime.
2. Its half term this week so Meghan and Emelye are both off school. We have Emelye tomorrow night and Friday and Saturday daytime. Alex has a college event to put on on Friday night so she’s staying at his house with his mum on Friday night. My goal for this half term is to get Meghan out of the house for an hours exercise at least three times. Its so easy for me to just sit her in front of the Wii or the internet but I’m very conscious of how much exercise she gets and since she’s not running around at pre-school and doesn’t have ballet, its my job to make sure she’s getting it. The three of is took a walk through the woods with Daxter this afternoon and it was lovely. We let Daxter off the lead since there were no dogs but he got a fox or a rabbit scent and shot off so when Alex caught him he was back on the lead. I’ll post photos tomorrow. Tomorrow the four of us (since Emelye will be here) are going to walk to the lake. I’ve been wanting to go for months so I’m looking forward to it.
3. In some good news - Alex has a job! Literally within a week of applying, being interviewed and doing a trial shift, he’s employed. It makes me a little jealous but I’m pleased for him. Its at Nando’s where his younger brother works and he starts next Monday. He’s treating me to a night out since he can afford to now. Its our five year anniversary on Friday and we had no plans at all and I was getting very upset about it. I pictured myself sat in on my own with a bottle of wine getting more and more depressed but I feel so much better knowing we have plans. I can’t even remember the last night out we had together. We’re going to a little Italian restaurant on Saturday night to celebrate and then we’re off into bars in town to meet up with his/our friends. I really can’t wait. He’s even told me I can buy myself a new dress/top for the night so I’m going shopping on Thursday. Its nice to finally have something to look forward to.
4. My reading is picking up again. I finished a Jodi Picoult book - Songs of a Humpback Whale - which I loved and went straight into another book I’m loving. Its called Once Upon a Time In England and its based in my home town in the part where I grew up. I’m loving it and I’m looking forward to getting into bed soon to read some more of it. Hopefully I will read another book after this before February ends to catch up with myself.
5. I’m seriously addicted to Pet Society. I made a separate Facebook account just so I could have another Pet Society. I have around 190 friends just for PS so I get enough coins a day to actually buy stuff. It doesn’t cost me anything and its not harming anyone so its okay!
6. I’m trying to watch as many films as I can. I’m really enjoying films but I have so many TV shows that I watch that its hard to fit it in. My Sky+ box is full of the TV shows I have recorded and I’m currently watching one of the many Biggest Loser episodes I have fallen behind with. I need a full day in front of the TV to get it down but that’s not going to happen!
7. I have to do two shopping trips this week which I’m not too happy about. I went to the cash machine on Monday morning to get money out to buy the food for the week and I only had less than half in the bank that I should have had so I could only buy the minimum amount of food. I managed to buy enough to last me until Thursday so first thing Thursday morning, I’m heading into town to buy food. And my new dress or top too! I’ll be doing a big shop since I have nothing in at all. Bring on Thursday.
8. I loved my hair cut when I first had it cut but now I hate it. Really, really hate it. I hate it that much that I wish it was long again. I’m actually considering growing it back out. I think I’m just not happy with myself at all right now and I’m looking to change the one I thing I can change instantly.
9. I’m desperate for a workout at the gym right now. Running this week is going to be tough with Meghan not being at pre-school and I’m trying not to get too worried about missing a few workouts. I’ll be at the gym next week and running again three times a week.
10. Its almost midnight again so I need to get into bed. I can so tell I’m not exercising because when I do exercise, I’m shattered by 10PM. I need to sort this routine out by the end of this week.

There isn’t much fish served for dinner in my house. To be honest, the last time I had fish was definitely over a year ago. Apart from tuna, between the four of us (when Alex and Emelye are here too) we go through at least 3-4 tins of tuna a week. Meghan has a suspected fish allergy but I know she’s fine with salmon and tuna. She had cod fish fingers when she was one year old and both times that she had them, she was violently sick within a couple of hours of eating them. It was only the second time she had them that I realised that it was the fish fingers that made her sick.

I’ve taken her to the doctors twice about it. Once when she was initially sick and again a couple of months ago. Both times they asked if it could have been the breadcrumbs that were on the fish fingers and not the actual fish. I’ve always been convinced that it can’t be the breadcrumbs because she eats other frozen foods - chicken ones - that don’t make her ill. I realised a couple of days ago that the other frozen food that she eats are coated in batter and not breadcrumbs which made me start thinking that maybe it wasn’t the fish after all.

Tonight we’re having salmon fillets for dinner and I’m so excited. I love salmon and the fishmonger cut some lovely pieces from the salmon for me this morning. Each week, I’m going to give her tastes of different types of fish and keep a list of how she reacts to it. The doctor won’t test her for the allergy because they think she’s too young and to be honest, I’d rather her not have a blood test. The doctor also said that they would only test her for a general fish allergy and it wouldn’t tell me which fish she can eat and which fish she can’t eat. At least this way I know what she’s allergic to and what she’s okay to eat. Its something that’ll help her when she’s older too.

I’m looking forward to eating more fish again.

1. Well, look at me blogging several times a week! Who’d have thought it?! I’m really enjoying blogging right now and I just wish I’d get my visitors back! Its my own fault for disappearing and leaving everyone with nothing to read but I may attract them back at this rate!
2. I ran four miles this morning - FOUR MILES! And it was really easy. It took me 45 minutes and I got absolutely soaked because it was pouring down and a car splashed me half way through. It was well worth it though. Bring on this 5K race on Sunday!
3. This month I decided to do the 30 Day Shred all in one go. I won’t actually finish it until March 2nd but I couldn’t wait another month to do. I’m sick of my body not doing as I want it and I’m hoping this is the kick start I need to shape up. When I’ve used it before, I’ve only ever done level 1 so I’m looking forward to the challenge of levels 2 and 3. I’ll let you know how its going this time next week.
4. I’ve had the loveliest day with Meghan today. I’ve just spent the whole afternoon with her. Its been so nice and I’ll be doing it again tomorrow. We played Pikmin (I love this game!), made a cake, coloured some pictures and played on Neopets together. Tomorrow I plan on really getting stuck into this alphabet thing. She knows about 30% of the alphabet just at sight but I really want her to know all the letters by the end of the month so we can get on to reading.
5. I’ve got back into the routine of going to bed at a decent time but I still can’t manage to get up in the morning. I have to drag myself out of bed most mornings only to moan at myself for a good half an hour. Tonight, I’m going to be in bed by 10PM so I get nine hours sleep. I think I need it after all the exercise I’ve done today. I would go to bed right now but Alex is going to have a cuppa with me before he goes home.
6. Pet Society has quickly become my favourite game on Facebook. If you don’t play it, you definitely should! You can create your own pet, dress it, design the house and every Monday at midnight, they stock the shops with brand new stock. I love my Monday morning shopping spree on Pet Society. Yes, I am quite sad. I have however, narrowed my Facebook games down to only four - Pet Society, Farm Ville, Cafe World and My Zoo. I got rid of everything else and don’t plan on starting any new games any time soon.
7. I still have almost 400 blogs on my Google Reader. I keep getting it down to around 350 but its back up again in a matter of a day. I really need to spend a night sat here reading blogs. I usually just look at the quick and easy ones like Fail Blog and Failbooking and leave the actual blogs until I have more time.
8. Meghan’s loving pre-school right now and she’s making so many friends. I was walking to pre-school with her the other morning and she shouted “Hiya, Ben!” to a little boy across the street with his mum. I thought it was so cute and I’m over the moon that she’s enjoying it. The way she tells me, it sounds like she plays with all the boys at school! Oh and in her class she has a Ben and Jacob which me and Alex just love.
9. Speaking of Lost; I cannot wait to watch the new season. Alex and I are waiting until Thursday night when we are ordering Chinese and sitting down with it and a bottle of wine to watch the new episodes. I will have to stop myself watching it before hand but I’m so excited!
10. The landlord’s son (my landlord lives in Thailand) came to sort the back door out yesterday. Its in a bit of a mess. Its rotting away because of water damage and he’s put some temporary batons on it until he can get a joiner out to replace the whole door, step and frame. There is an inch gap in the back door at the moment because of the rot and the constant draft is not nice at all. I can’t wait until its fixed.

Last night I had the idea of doing a monthly review on how I am getting on with these ten goals I made for myself at the beginning of the year. I cannot believe that its February already! Tomorrow begins a whole new month and a short month at that so March will be here before we know it.

1. Weigh 130lbs and stay around 130-133lbs throughout the rest of the year
   As of last Wednesday, I am 133.5lbs. I hope to start March at a round 133lbs. I’m starting to wonder whether this number is anything I should be focusing on but I’m not ready to let go of the scales just yet.
2. Be a better mother
   I haven’t been having days out with Meghan but I have been spending more time with her in general. Today for example, we’ve been colouring together and she always helps me make breakfast, lunch and dinner. The days out are mainly due to money (or the lack of it) but also because I’m just too cold to go out to places unless I really, really have to! Hopefully the weather warms up this month.
3. Be a better step-mother
   I’m really not doing well on this side. I’ll be baking with Emelye this weekend though to make up for it.
4. Spend less time online
   This is the one I’ve really been doing well on. I’m rarely on any more until after Meghan goes to bed. At the weekend I am on more than usual but during the week, I’m not here. Its nice to be spending less time online and more time with what and who is more important.
5. Keep running
   This a little hit and miss. I’ve missed two runs this week and made up for one at the gym. Its a combination of being let down, feeling like I’m putting running in front of more important things and the weather. I need to learn how to juggle my fitness and my daily life a little better. I wish I could run very early in the morning but until Alex moves back, its not going to happen since I can’t leave Meghan on her own. I have my run next Sunday so I need to make sure I run three times next week before then.
6. Read 50 books
   I’ve only managed to read one book this month. I’m really trying to read but its really not happening! I tried to read a book I started last Sunday in six days so I could take it back to the library on Saturday morning. A target of 70 pages a day about a year ago would have been a breeze - I could easily read 100+ pages per day - but I couldn’t even manage 40 per day. I think I’m around 160 pages in and still have 250 to go but I will have it finished for this Saturday so I can take it back to the library. I’m hoping in a couple of months I have one of those few weeks where I just can’t read enough so I can get through three in one go.
   
7. Watch 50 films
   I’ve watched six films this month. I have to watch 4/5 films a month to hit my target so I’m ahead of myself already. I have two films out from LoveFilm and eight films recorded on my Sky+ box so that’s enough to keep me busy this month!
   
8. Take more photos
   This one isn’t going too well. I took photos at the very beginning of the month when it really snowed but I’ve not taken anything apart from the photo of my hair cut since. I’ve become a little more active on Flickr though so hopefully that sparks some creativity.
9. Think positive and don’t take myself so seriously
   I’m still working on this. Its something that won’t happen overnight.
10. Pay my bills on time and manage my money better
    I was doing so well this very first week and as the weeks have gone on, I seem to have gotten worse and worse. The main one that’s gotten me is food. I spent way, way over budget last week but I was so sick of having nothing in that I just couldn’t not buy what I did. I didn’t even buy anything special! It was all just ingredients for meals and things like trail mix ingredients, yogurt, fruit and other healthy snacks. This week I have to knock £10 off my already small shopping bill to put back the money I spent over last week. February is going to be full of no spending!

Even though I do usually prefer the winter to the summer, right now I just want the summer to come. I’m so cold all the time and I’m sick of it now. I currently have the heating on and I’m wearing a long sleeved t-shirt, a short sleeved t-shirt and a jacket and I’m still not getting warm. It doesn’t help that there is a hole in my back door either so there is a draft all the time. Apparently, we might get more snow soon too which just isn’t impressing me at all. It had better not snow again. I was so happy to see it disappear.

I didn’t go running today. I needed a break. My day off from everything is Wednesday’s and I didn’t get that yesterday what with the funeral, which by the way, as funerals go, was nice. I’ll be going to the gym tomorrow and then running on Sunday afternoon but I just needed today off.

Since I had the day free yesterday, I went and had my haircut after the funeral. I had it cut a new place and as well as it being £25 cheaper than my usual place, she also did a great job. This is the shortest I’ve had it cut yet but I really like it. I’ll definitely be going back to that place again.